coming of age
reclaiming the rite: why coming of age still matters
Text created by Alex Rose
May 1, 2025 at 6:54:16 PM
A reflection on why intentional rites of passage remain essential in today’s world—where transitions are often overlooked or rushed, and how creating structured, meaningful experiences can offer a deeper sense of identity, belonging, and emotional grounding for individuals and families alike. These ceremonies not only honor personal growth, but also help us reconnect with cultural wisdom and collective healing across generations.
In most traditional societies, the passage from childhood to adulthood was marked by a rite of passage—a ceremonial threshold between one life stage and another. These rituals weren’t symbolic alone; they served a vital communal and psychological function. They told the individual: You are no longer who you were. And you’re not alone in becoming who you are becoming.
Today, many of us grow up without that clear moment. The path from adolescence to adulthood has become long, fragmented, and often lonely. In our modern culture, we have birthdays and graduations, but few intentional spaces where young people are seen, challenged, and welcomed into a new identity. In the absence of ritual, we often carry childhood dynamics into our adult relationships, or adulthood expectations into our childhood years—with confusion, friction, and missed opportunities on both ends.
When Does Coming of Age Happen?
It’s tempting to assume coming of age is tied to a single number—13, 16, 18, 21. But in truth, it happens in waves, across several life stages.
When a teenager begins to question who they are outside of their family system.
When a college student leaves home and redefines themselves in a new context.
When a young adult begins forming deeper partnerships or taking ownership of their career path.
Even later in life, when someone realizes they never truly had the chance to feel initiated into adulthood.
In this way, coming of age is not a one-time event—it’s an ongoing invitation. And the earlier we open a space to explore it, the more rooted and confident our future steps can become.
Tradition Meets Today
In cultures across the world, coming-of-age ceremonies are still practiced with reverence:
The Jewish bar and bat mitzvah, acknowledging spiritual and ethical responsibility.
The Latin American quinceañera, marking a girl's transition into womanhood.
The Apache sunrise ceremony, guiding young women through a four-day ritual of strength and transformation.
Even more avant-garde forms, like Joseph Campbell’s work on the hero’s journey, or Jungian analysts exploring psychological individuation, point to the deep need for structured transformation.
Modern thinkers like Francis Weller have spoken about the “soul’s apprenticeship to the world,” and how without rites of passage, we’re left with a society of uninitiated adults—lacking a deep sense of belonging or responsibility.
In a culture that’s often allergic to slowness and ritual, bringing back these ceremonial moments can feel radical—but they are also profoundly healing.
A Pathway with Structure
That’s why we created the Coming of Age pathway—not as a throwback to tradition for its own sake, but as a modern framework that integrates psychology, ritual, family dialogue, and personal reflection. It offers a space for young adults (ages 13–23) to move through a structured series of sessions that culminate in a personalized rite of passage ceremony.
Along the way, families explore long-standing dynamics, release outdated roles, and step into new ones. The young person is not just celebrated, but seen—as an individual with agency, values, and vision. There’s conversation, ritual, and a powerful shared moment where something internal shifts.
Because something does need to shift. Not just for the client—but for the entire system they’re part of.
Why This Matters Now
We live in a world of endless scrolling, overwhelming expectations, and increasingly blurred lines between childhood and adulthood. Many young people find themselves emotionally or spiritually underprepared for the real transitions they face. At the same time, families often lack the language or tools to mark these changes meaningfully.
Creating a container for transformation—through ceremony, conversation, and committed intention—is not a luxury. It’s a necessity.
Whether or not someone chooses to walk through a formal program, the invitation remains: to pause, to reflect, to honor who you’ve been, and to step—intentionally—into who you’re becoming.
Terms and conditions